love & trying to make the most of it all

I had a major realization yesterday. My endorphins were killing it post-workout. I had gone a little too hard at the gym and I knew I would be sore the next day, but I felt so good. I couldn't stop smiling and everything seemed so beautiful. I wish that I could appreciate the world in this way all of the time, but I was just really feeling it on my walk home. There were trees and birds and the sky and I felt so thankful so everything in my life. I felt really happy- not for any reason except for being alive.

Basically, I realized something I already knew- when you have people who really love you and care about you, life is so much easier. I could have been upset about a quite a few things happening in my life at the moment. Instead, I was dealing with everything is stride and taking things as they came. Nothing is terrible right now, but I just felt like I have so much to be thankful for and am more mature. Everything seemed easier to deal with than it would have been at a different point in my life because I have amazing friends who support and love me. So, here is a shout out to Jon, Michelle, Kayla, Daniel, Sam, Audrey, Cristina, and everyone else. You are wonderful and I love you so, so much.

To put some extra cheese in the cheese-y-ness, here are some things I am thankful for:

1. Friends

2. Family

3. Living in NYC

4. Finishing school

5. Having had the opportunity to travel so much

6. My beautiful apartment

7. My job

8. The internet. The beautiful, distracting internet.

9. My health. I think it is easy to take for granted that I can run and hear and see, but not everyone can. One day, I may not be so healthy and will not be able to continue on this journey. I am just trying to make the most of it all.

This realization also brought me to the conclusion that if I were to be in a relationship, the most important thing to me (besides personality compatibility) is that the person really cares about me. Life is too short to spend with people who suck or generally don't give a shit.

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I have also been thinking about goals and what I want to get out of this summer, so here we go:

1. Eat consciously

2. Exercise regularly

3. Spend wisely

4. Hang out with friends as often as possible

5. Work my little ass off and learn more about the industry

6. Go to the beach often

7. Read a lot

I know the more specific goals are, the more likely you are to achieve them. I am purposely being vague in my goals for the remainder of the summer because I feel like these are the ways I want to live my life- reading, learning, eating, exercising, laughing- and not momentarily. 

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A big question weighing on my mind has been 'is this it?' I mean to say that everyone and their mother's cousin's dog keeps telling me that my life will be the same from here on out- work, work, work. They make it sound horrible and boring. I don't share their point of view. I really have sought to do something I love and can't imagine going back to school at this point, so I will continue working. But my naivety provides me with the perception that this 9-5 business is not a grind, but a mere aspect of life. I also don't think I am 'never going to be able to travel again.' I will go on vacations and still want to take that year off to teach English in Thailand or wherever I may end up. Maybe I will really move to Melbourne for a year or two. Maybe I will seek refuge for a few months in my parents house to not pay rent, remove myself from the distractions of the world, and just write. Time will tell.