Day 2 was burgerday

I finished my 2nd day at work- hell yeah! It was still nice. Ate breakfast and had killer coffee. Plus, we all gathered around the long table to enjoy our specially ordered burgers for burgerday #tgibd. I got a beef burger with grilled mushrooms and egg- weird and sort of a misorder, but delicious and messy. Yeah, food tends to be a constant highlight of my day. I also played 'football' with a co-worker's 4-year-old daughter, which was infinitely adorable.

I also went to the Union Square Crunch for the first time. I guess they are basically the same, but I am going to try to start going to the gym before work so I can hang out with friends (and actually get exercise in if I have to work late). I showered in a Crunch for the first time today, as well. I think it all went fine, but it felt weird because the first time doing anything feels weird. I also am considering visiting the Crunch is Chelsea, but it is out of the way on my walk to work. I think Union Square is my new week gym location until the Bowery one opens, which will be my weekend fill instead of the Soho location- I have thought way too much about this, so I should obviously share.

For tonight/ this weekend, my plans are semi-up-in-the-air, but I will keep ya'll updated. Plans are hard to do!

xoxo
Gossip Squirrel
(but not really, only in my dreams)

Employed like a real person... or something

Today marked the day of my official employment. I have a job- just like a real person! Who knew I could be a real person?

Entonces, it was pretty good. All I did was get oriented, but I like the accounts I am working on- huzzah! I am going to be doing lots of media planning/ buying with a splash of social and sem.

My supervisors got me pizza for lunch on my first day, but there is also Jaigermeister, soda, and fancy coffee in the kitchen (in addition to tons of snacks and breakfast foods). Also, tomorrow is burgerday (#TGIBD!?!), which means everyone sits at a long table together and eats a ton of burgers for lunch together (every Friday)- super cute. Also also, dogs are allowed! Also also also, there is a sun roof where I can do work. I might just be most excited about dogs and food, but my situation is pretty ideal- not going to lie. Plus, the agency has quite a few awards and has a few satellite offices. Pretty excited for the work to come.

In the mean time, I have been going to museums and spending too much money on clothes (READ: J. Crew sample sale with Audrey!). Oh, and as usual- eating lots of good food. I was home for the last few days (Father's Day) and might be doing Tropfest Saturday or the beach ... or something. Going out with Auds tomorrow! Anyways, Michelle and I made shrimp gumbo yesterday. It was pretty ideal. Also, still loving working on my @unthunkable twitter account- so fun. In other other news, I am brainstorming a piece to write for my roommate Kayla's 'zine'... updates to come... (this paragraph is very add, but I like it, so didn't really edit it).

Arrivederci!

TOWIE and Beauty: ladies are only good for looks, but never pretty enough

***DISCLAIMER: I love this show (so entertaining and addictive), but there are lots of problems with the societal implications of the way beauty and women are depicted***

The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE) is a British program similar to a trashier, funnier version of The Hills- going 9 seasons strong! The show touts the young people of Essex as being beautiful and glamourous. Although the show is extremely amusing and a very fake reality program (as far as reality goes), the focus relies much too heavily on outer appearance- specifically for women.

Many of the characters are clearly funny and intelligent- many of the main female characters even own their own businesses. For example, Jess owns her own lingerie company; Lauren G has a spray tan company; Amy had her own salon and later her own show; Lauren P is a famous DJ; Sam, Lucy, and Lydia have their own clothing boutiques; and Gemma has her own clothing line. On the other hand, the only man to own his own company on the show across all seasons is middle-aged Mick (multiple club owner). However, the (only) homosexual character Bobby opens his beauty school on the show (though it seems his business does not last when he claims to also plan to start an event planning company and the salon is never shown again). Finally in season 8, the Puck-type Joey "Essex" also opens his own store- but the audience cannot take Joey seriously as an actual business owner- is this also a joke of the show? Nevertheless, the show tends to focus on petty arguments (always revolving around the incestual rotation of the cast members' hookups and relationships) and outer appearances (not only displaying how the people look, but most conversations regard how characters look or how they can improve their looks) rather than true accomplishments of the cast members to provide a more entertaining viewing experience. For example, Lucy and Mario call off their engagement not only because they feel that they are too young to get married, but also because other people are gossiping about their impending marriage. In season 7, Mick is criticized as being a Hugh Hefner type because he hires many play boy bunny-esque (called Sugar Hut Hunnies, but also similar to Hooters Girls) who are overtly sexualized in their professional roles, but also the way they are portrayed on the show. Video shots zoom in on their cleavage, 'bums,' and even the Hunnies are blamed for the cause of fights- whether between Mick and Gemma or Lucy and Mario. Although unrelated, the women are always presented by the show as to blame because of their seductive/ irresistible looks.

Even when it comes to sports, beauty rather than athleticism is the focus. In the season 7 finale, the girls play the English Netball team. Mario comments that the TOWIE girls 'have better make up.' All of the TOWIE girls have their hair down, sparkly purple jerseys, and sparkly purple nails. On the other hand, the official English Netball team women have their hair in pony tails- probably to avoid getting hair pulled or keep distracting hair out of their faces- typical of playing sports. The contrast makes the TOWIE girls seem ridiculous. Even on sports days and at the gym, TOWIE girls have full faces of make up and hair down. No one would run miles, box, or do yoga with their hair (which falls down their ass) down. Lauren G among others wear their (very long) hair down during a yoga session taught by Billi. Billi and Cara actually run the London Marathon with Arg, but much conversation regarding their training and even during the race is how they look- whether their extensions look well, how false lashes have stayed on, and that they haven't sweat off their tans. Of course, both women are congratulated for their accomplishment, but much of the achievement seems to be attributed to looking good while running (in be-dazzled tops).

The implication is that women specifically cannot succeed or are uninteresting (to view on television and for other characters to date) if they do not focus the majority of their efforts on outer appearances. Many females tend to display very ugly behavior with one another, though such actions are likely brought on for better ratings by producers as entirely or partially fake.

Another major implication is that women can never be beautiful enough- both because of the 'way' men behave/ think and the imminent 'competition' in Essex (i.e. society). Chloe, a main character on the show who appears to be little more than plastic, is occasionally funny and seems to be tricking the audience with her obviously posed stupidity. She has magnificent one-liners, but only likely because she rarely talks- she is more of a character to look at while she listens to other characters talk. When Chloe does speak, she reveals very little about her personal life (with the exception of in season 7 revealing a secret boyfriend of 5 years who was cheating on her). Otherwise, she goes on fake dates and discusses past and future cosmetic surgeries. She talks about facial botox, boob jobs, liposuction, and bum implants- in addition to the required hair extensions, blow outs, piles of make up, false lashes, fake tan, and mani-pedis for cast members to maintain on and off- air. Chloe constantly discusses looking ugly in the past and lacking confidence in her looks in the present. She constantly discusses new surgeries she could get to improve her confidence and 'keep up' with the competition in Essex because 'there are so many beautiful girls.' Many of the other women on the show constantly worry/ complain about their appearance. For example, Cara gets minor liposuction, Lauren G is always dieting, and Gemma is constantly being berated for being overweight. Even when Lucy changes her hair color, everyone from her boyfriend to friends fuss as if she made a drastic, life changing decision- more than opening her own boutique. The girls never look good enough, and always have to try to look better than other characters or Essex-ers.

To an extent, looks are also important to determining the value of men- though not as much as for women. Arg, an overweight main character throughout seasons, is always put down by 'friends' and other cast members for being heavier and less attractive than the other men on the show. Although Arg tries and occasionally succeeds to lose weight, it usually occurs with lots of insults and complaints. Arg gets a cue ball hait cut and is made fun of. Arg runs a marathon and is made fun of (when in training and for potentially failing to complete the marathon being that he is overweight). Arg was also constantly being compared to his much better looking best friend, Mark, who appeared in the first few seasons of the show. On the other hand, Mark then Mario were touted as the attractive/ ideal male characters- attractive faces, great bodies (always in the gym), perfect hair, charming smiles, and constantly (pulling women- or cheating when in relationships). Mario is particularly fetishized as being an Italian, rich stud. Mario's best friend, "Little" Chris, complains of insults about his height/ weight/ attractiveness in the season 8 premiere. Young Joey "Essex" is also displayed as an attractive boy, though only a boy because he is about 21 on the show. He is clearly attractive, but quite skinny and very funny. He serves as more of a joke than an attractive male figure. Joey's best friend, Diags, is constantly being made fun of for being ugly, though Chloe voices strong affection towards him because he is "funny." The masculinity of Charlie is also constantly questioned because although he is attractive, fit, and tall- his quietness and friendship with Bobby pose a constant possibility of bisexuality (which seems to be oddly problematic/ controversial in Essex/ British tv culture). While beauty can always be improved for women, men on the show can be redeemed for having lots of money and/or being funny. In other words, factors (whether shallow or not) other than looks attribute to personal value of male TOWIE characters.

Overall, by presenting women as only being good 'for looks,' but never pretty enough, women are considered failures as a gender. They rely on men for validation, though (as in real life) women need to achieve self-actualization in their looks, personality, and smarts to escape this perpetuation of misogyny.

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We live in a society of bigger, better, badder. Everyone is always looking for a level up or some sort of improvement. People look left and right, just to pick up the next thing on the street. In this world there are so many options- for school, work, significant others, friends- it is hard to make some one commit or feel sure of anything. How can one determine that something/ some one is truly good enough to prevent a rejection for the next best thing? There seems to be little commitment and lots of throwing looks around- but maybe that is a stereotypical view of me being a supposed '20-something.'

On work and identity

Society is much too dominated by cultural capitalistic values that dictate our personal identities. The last few months, this value has literally consumed me. I know I can be quite obsessive- especially when it comes to my personal life and future. Like I have said about many things, I need to get over it, but it is something that won't go away- even in my own mind. A person who works at a certain company is considered to have certain attributes or characteristics- and therefore is considered to have x value- both by themselves, their coworkers, and society members unaffiliated with the organization. The work they do and the company they work for determines both personal and outside perceptions of that person. Of course, there are factors at play that determine how that individual got to work at that company in that position, but the heuristics at play speak too loudly.

Such notions bring to question:
1. Who am I as a person?
2. What value does my work represent of me as a human being?
3. If I work at a 'less prestigious company' and do more interesting/ significant/ ethical/ better work than at a 'more prestigious company,' is the work I do (and therefore myself) less valuable?
4. Does any of this even matter?

The only question I can answer is 'Why have I been torturing myself with this infinite loop of questions?' The answer is as I discussed above, societal expectations- some of which I have implemented onto myself and some of which have been implemented onto me (and then back onto myself).

Having just graduated from college and avoiding the impending debt-doom that is grad school (for now) in the current economic climate, the challenge of finding a job has been quite frustrating. At the same time, I saw, came, and conquered after choosing a good offer that I had.

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To avoid ranting further about specific company's hiring practices, I have listed my most recent small accomplishments:
1. Finished school (for now)
2. Got an apartment (with laundry machines?!? in a beautiful, *delicious* neighborhood)
3. Got a job

On a fatter note, here are some places I have eaten lately (since eating is also an accomplishment): Cafe Mogador, Macaron Parlor, Spot, Caracas, The Bean, Crooked Tree (my spot!), Xi'an Famous Food, 2Eight2 Burger (why did I go to Brooklyn?), Chipotle (my friend works there and I got a bogo deal), La Palapa, La Bottega, Ngam (soooooo good), V Bar, Just Sweet, Maison Kayser (need to go again!), Pop Bar, LPQ, Soho Park, Alice's Tea Cup, and probably more places I can't remember. #truelife

In terms of others things I have been up to, I joined Crunch and I love my gym. I am an out of shape little monkey, but it feels good to be taking care of myself. Hopefully, this monkey will also be healthier in the long run. No friends made at the gym, but I have two new friends- Kayla and Audrey- and I like them both a lot. Hopefully, I will also make friends with the people I work with- I start Monday (who am I?). This whole finding a job thing has been an interesting journey to say the least. I have been in a weird state of limbo- being a college grad and not having any specific responsibility expect for planning for the future. I love the time I have spent with friends over the last month, but the winds of change are blowing once again. I am embracing them wholeheartedly.

So what are some of my goals for the near future?
1. Keep on going to the gym regularly.
2. Cook more of my meals to save money and eat consciously.
3. Work my ass off!
4. Spend time with friends!
5. Be present in the moments of life
6. Write

In other other news, I made a fake Twitter. Follow @unthunkable!!!

[Arrivederci!]

On summer and art

Summertime is so different from the rest of the year. The heat and end of classes changes everyone's moods. People walk differently and talk differently. Personal roles change and so do attitudes. It is hard to look at tomorrow the same when it is going to be so different from yesterday, even though you haven't moved. Everything is in the same place- the buildings, your bed, and the park benches. But at the same time, everything is always changing- leaves fall, it randomly starts to downpour, those park benches get moved, and new art replaces the blank space on the wall- all a constant, unpredictable rotation. Summer comes and goes. It is different every time, but there is the predictable heat,  which brings lust and friendship and hope with it. There is so much possibility and opportunity with new free time and better weather. The question of what tomorrow will bring is great and that makes everything strange.

Why is this summer different from all other summers? I am done with school- for now. I am in this weird state of limbo where I can do anything, but I also need validation of my personhood from others. My current personal identifier is college grad, but the implications are murky.

I have been thinking a lot about social relationships and how they relate to our own definitions of selfhood. 'Who am I' is so significantly shaped by those around me and who I surround myself with, i.e. other New Yorkers, my family, who I choose as friends, who I engage with in other life aspects. An inspiration for this reflection has been art. Lately, I have been hitting up some of the great NYC art spots- including MoMA, PS1, 5Pointz, the New Museum, and the Whitney Museum. 

Art is this weird thing that can just be there, existing, and make you feel so understood. It can actually make you feel a lot of ways- happy, sad, confused, and even disinterested. Sometimes I look at a painting and just think This person understands me and I have never met them. 

It is kind of like that C. S. Lewis quote: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” 

You aren't the only one when you look at art because even if there is not another person there you are talking to, the art is your friend and you feel that understanding. At the same time, personal interpretations and feelings towards art really are dependent on what you, the audience, bring to the mental table. By this, I mean however I am feeling or thinking shapes how I also feel about a piece. My feelings towards the same piece of art constantly change throughout time not because the art is different, but because I am changing.

As a human, I am constantly adapting to my new environment and learning. Summer marks a time of difference for everyone because they feel differently about it, just like art. Summer- thou art art.