Dearest Internet,
In case you were wondering what the latest was:
I have a boyfriend. His name is Osho and he trades things. He is really smart and good to me, and right now, I couldn't be giddier (for me). I am not sure where it will go, but I am young, so I am embracing the hazy future (it seems to be happy haze).
At work:
I got Friday off, went to visit the New York Times building today, and am spending the day at Google for a training on Wednesday. Can't lie- feel pretty giddy about this, too. Otherwise, work has been pretty busy and I am somewhat getting more used to it, but also still not used to it in a lot of other senses- like I am not always sure what the protocol is in certain situations (and by that I don't mean what the right thing to do is, but a thing at all- thankfully my coworkers are always willing to lend a hand or explain something). Speaking of which, the people I work with are really nice.
This weekend:
Thursday, I went hopping around the EV with Osho and finished the night at Two Bros, after which he asked if I wanted to be official.
Friday, I got groceries (like a real person- job, apartment, boyfriend, groceries- all real people things) in attempts to avoid the line (there was still a 30 minute wait and I freaked a little about the crowdedness, but survived that weekly atrocity). Later, I went to the gym and caught up on some tv watching- something I hadn't done in a while- can you say bad Netflix movies and binge watching Archer and Arrested Development? I really needed the day to chill out, which I haven't done in a while.
Saturday, I slept in, then hit up Joe's and Grom in the West Village with Osho. Then, we sat in WSP and he walked he home because he is the cutest.
Sunday, I coached and then I brunched at Westville with Liliana and Sammie- it felt like forever since I had seen them. After Westville, we hit up Ray's Candy Bar and tried the deep fried oreos and beignets- so unhealthy, but so good! I miss my girls and need to hang out more often :) I fell asleep wicked early because I was exhausted from life/ skating for the first time again in a few weeks.
Some slightly related thoughts:
- I feel in shape enough, but that there is always so much room for improvement when it comes to my own skating. Nothing ever is or will be good enough. It is very frustrating trying to love and have fun with something I can only associate with hard work and dedication. Yet, it also feels so good to be able to spin and jump because the only thing bringing me back to earth is gravity.
- I have this constant, begging question of What now? What's next? What more can I do? I know what I have is great and enough- I have so much to be thankful for and proud of achieving, but every bar in set higher once we reach the apex of that goal. Again, I find that nothing I do is ever going to be or will be good enough. I will always greedily want more- because I am human and because of the pressures of everyday society.
- Whenever I walk the streets of NYC, I perceive so many people as well dressed and confident. Yet, this morning, I considered how lonely it is to live and walk the streets surrounded by so many people- who are all feeling the same shivers of shaken confidence, always comparing themselves to others. The irony is that everyone feels the same and if they stopped to consider the shared feelings, they would still feel lonely- maybe even more so. Perhaps this is a double irony. So many feelings- trapped inside so many souls shedding brightness as the weather cools and the clouds darken. I will embrace the gloominess because I am not alone, but surrounded by beating hearts. Remember, love abounds.
When I think of more things, I will write them to keep you updated (you in the general sense, but consider if the internet were a person.. .)...
Will write soon!
xoxo
S
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